Just Over The Stars
by Faust's-Rebellion
Summary: It was never Murdoc. It was always 2D. He was always just out of reach, just out of sight, just over the stars... One-Shot, set in Beirut  Pre-Phase 3 , Murdoc/2D


The apartment building was squashed into the corner of a musty street, cluded with smog from the city below and rain from the clouds above. The halls were slim, the one on Stuart's floor seemingly worse as the choking scent of Korean food slipped out from beneath the door beside his own. The lady living there was nice, so no one had ever told her to plug it up.

Stuart himself lay strewn across his couch, his body showing the tell-tale signs of misery and malnutrition. He was shirtless, exposing the obscene indent he considered a stomach -and anyone else would consider a skeleton- and his bandaged wrists. He was on his back, one arm over his boney chest and the other hanging off the couch in what would have been a comfy position. He was sick, however, and everything hurt. Everything. For the time his painkillers had coaxed him into a fitful sleep, which showed little mercy in saving him from the haunting pain and nausea.

Murdoc, having planned this for a while now, crept along the hall with near-silent feet. Canister of gas in hand, Murdoc twitched and sniffled softly. He's partially lost what remained of his sanity from the isolation. His plan was already enacted, everything had been moved from Kong before it burned and everyone's things had been shipped to Plastic Beach. Now, he needed 2D...

The door wasn't locked by any means -it wasn't even closed fully- as the last time Stu had gone through it he'd nearly fallen unconscious in the hall. This illness, whatever it was, seemed to be sapping the very life out of him. It was visible in his smothered expression and forever tear-stained lyrics. He'd lost his happy front -as it seemed- for good.

As Murdoc neared, he noticed the ajar door and couldn't help but push it even further, setting the can of gas by the door. Seeing 2D on the couch, Murdoc smirked, thinking his job would be all the easier. Then it was a frown of worry. Then a chill of fright. He stepped in, truly wondering if 2D might be dead. He looked terrible, and Murdoc decided the plan might not need be as...unwilling as he'd imagined it. He shut the door, striding over to sit beside 2D on the couch and touching his forehead.

The singer was somewhere between swelteringly hot and chillingly cold, as though his immune system was so far distressed that it couldn't decide on one or the other. He was trembling numbly, hardly shifting at the touch. He was otherwise limp, lying almost flat against the couch.

Murdoc didn't know much about anything medically relevant, but it didn't take a genius to see that 2D was in really bad shape. He wandered the apartment to see what exactly he had to work with, knowing 2D would have at least the basics of living. He'd always been smart like that, not like Murdoc, who would have had just enough forethought to get a couch, a television, and as much alcohol as his money could buy. When the bassist returned to 2D's side, he held a wet rag in his hand, a small cup of water in the other.

2D hadn't moved at all while Murdoc explored his small living space other than the slightest of breathing. The pills he'd been prescribed had put him into an almost comatose-like sleep, which was both a relief and doing more damage. He hadn't eaten in longer than he could remember -other than pills and water- and the fact that he was almost always unconscious only provided an escape from his pain.

Murdoc sat for a few moments, hoping to gain some sort of response, but when none came, he began to grow worried. He reached out and dipped his fingers in the glass of water, bringing them up to 2D's lips and pressing the lingering droplets to the singer's mouth.

He didn't do anything for a long second, though once the bit of water found the back of his throat he made a small noise. His lashes fluttered a bit against his cheeks, though the medication still had a strong hold on his consciousness and kept it at bay.

Murdoc sighed, relieved. Still, he was in bad shape. Figuring the water was better than nothing, Murdoc carefully repeated the task.

Stuart's lips were trembling and cold beneath his fingers, despite the rather warm -comparatively- surroundings. His lids fluttered a bit more before they reluctantly opened, revealing bleary, drugged onyx eyes. 2D whimpered hoarsely, his beautiful voice now marred and thick, as he realized there was someone else in the room; though he couldn't quite focus his eyes to distinguish who they were.

"D?" Murdoc murmured softly, leaning over the boy and petting his hair gently, something he found comforting. "Yew in there?"

The singer instinctively jerked away from his hand, hiding against the couch like a frightened child. The sleepy haze was starting to leave, allowing the pain to burrow itself ruthlessly into him. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly, his breathing ragged and uneven- even hinting on whimpers with every exhale. This was the beauty his life had been reduced to; a cycle of comatose naps and excruciating waking hours.

Murdoc flinched back, but quickly assessed the singer. "Come on, Stupot," he murmured, "whut's wrong?" He brushed gentle fingers over the singer's cheek. "Le' me 'elp yew."

2D seemed to not hear him at first, the ringing in his ears deafening, though when it registered that the someone intruding into his house had spoken, he forced a pain-wracked glance. Murdoc. Murdoc was sitting on his couch, trying to calm him, trying to take care of him.. Murdoc. For an instance 2D wondered if he was dead, but the pain shot through in a thick wave and he quickly realized he'd been mistaken on that note.

Murdoc pet 2D's hair gently, trying to sooth him. He would have spoken, but it seemed 2D must have some form of headache upon it all.

Silent tears had taken up residence on 2D's face as he continued to give Murdoc a disbelieving look. A sudden fiery pain shot through his long-since empty stomach, forcing him into a tight, quietly crying ball. He'd always tried to hide his weakness in front of Murdoc, knowing he fed off of it and used it against him in the form of verbal and physical abuse, but he'd been shattered long ago, no longer caring what happened to him..

Murdoc rose and looked around, shutting the curtains to the windows and raiding the boy's fridge as quietly as possible. Being vegetarian (and obviously haven't gone out much), 2D didn't have much available, but Murdoc was able to find a box of crackers deep in the cupboard. Trying one for himself and finding them only slightly stale, Murdoc brought the finding to 2D, handing him the cracker he'd nibbled from.

2D flinched at the 'sudden' motion, his empty stomach both churning and begging at the sight of the food. He reached up shakily, hardly able to close his fingers around it as he brought it back to the safety of behind his knees. He could only take small nibbles from the edges, knowing an actual bite of it would overwhelm his starved, sickly system.

Murdoc smiled sadly and sat back at 2D's side, taking up only the bare minimum of the seat he needed. He petted 2D's hair, muttering softly as he continuously tried to soothe his closest friend, however begrudgingly they put up with each other.

His bangs shrouded his teary eyes from view as he took small parts of the cracker and tried to keep them down. 2D's stomach seemed to want to tear itself apart now that there was _actually_ food in it, hurting worse than before, as did his head. It was ever so tempting to grab for his pills and just take it all back, just go back to sleep, but he knew so long as Murdoc was there, he wouldn't be able to.. He flinched a bit with every little bit of contact he received, trembling beneath Murdoc's hand. Despite his kind words, Murdoc was the one that'd done this to him. It was he that'd made the larger part of 2D's life a living hell; it was he who'd abused him nearly into coma more times than either could count; it was he that'd shattered 2D's heart and left him without any pieces to pick up afterward.

Oblivious to 2D's inner turmoil, Murdoc's sole purpose was to keep 2D well. Deep inside his mind, a tiny part of him was telling him that he was only doing this to keep 2D's voice. The Gorillaz couldn't continue without him, that much was sure. But another part said that this was his friend. Friends waited on each other, right? They were there for them when the other needed it. Now it was Murdoc's turn to be a friend. He stood and drew all the curtains of the windows closed, wondering briefly if he should take 2D to a hospital. He certainly wasn't qualified to take lasting care of the singer. But 2D knew quite a bit...wouldn't he have gone if he knew he was getting severely sick?

The singer finally gave in, setting the half eaten cracker on the coffee table and trying to hide within himself. He had to fight to keep that small morsel down, hands threaded over his mouth and pressed against the backs of his thighs. The tears continued to fall, slipping between his boney digits and dripping into his lap silently.

Murdoc turned back sadly, sitting beside his mate as he stroked a hand along the singer's back. "Come on, Stu, whut's wrong...?" He didn't expect 2D to answer, but asked all the same.

"...f-feel.. fo-ockin' 'owwible..." He hardly managed to sob, holding tightly at his stomach. His gaze didn't stray up as the lock in the door jiggled -it locked automatically when Murdoc had closed it- and clicked open. A woman wearing a pale green turtle neck and slim khakis stood in the doorway; a bag in one hand and set of keys in the other. She was well-shaped, even beneath the heavy sweater, with her hair pulled back from a sharply angled face -complete with glasses- and a small bangler about her wrist. She paused when she saw Murdoc, gasping.

Murdoc blinked rapidly to focus in on the woman, and had half a mind to growl threateningly. A strange woman, here in 2D's apartment...though she did have keys...was she /with/ 2D? He slowly rubbed 2D's shoulder, forcing himself to wrench his eyes away from the woman with scornful distaste, shushing the boy slowly.

2D still flinched at the touch, which the woman noticed with a slight huff. She hurried to his side, the door closing and her bag dropped beside the couch as she kneeled down and placed a cold, slim hand against 2D's cheek- to which he surprisingly made no reaction. "Stua't, yewr bu'ning up!" She cooed softly, reaching back into her bag and producing official looking medicine with his name on the label. She paid Murdoc no mind, as did 2D, while she hurriedly gave him the dosage of various medications she had. "'oney, yew shoulda colled if yew we'e faring so bad!" The woman sighed, setting her things aside.

"S-sowwy.." 2D whimpered, rubbing at his teary eyes in vain, as the tears just as quickly fell back into place. "Ah w-wos sl-leeping, C-clawy..." Clary, short for Clarissa, sighed again and shook her head slightly.

Murdoc felt insignificant. All at once, he went from being 2D's only support to a third wheel. Sure, Murdoc had hurt him in the past, but he'd helped out too. And there was the question of who the woman was... He gave her a sharp glare, though upon realizing 2D was slowly getting much better than Murdoc could have made him, the bassist stilled his tongue and any hateful comments that would have fallen off it.

"Dea', yew know yew need yewr meds.." The woman murmured, her head stilling as she looked past him to Murdoc. 2D, meanwhile, shrunk back against the back of the couch and returned to hiding behind his knees; waiting for the medications to kick in. They dulled the pain and made him drowsy, a nice combination as it was the only way he could get _any_ sleep. "'n 'o a'e yew?" She asked briskly, gaze sharp from behind her glasses.

Murdoc's crumpled nose drew up further in disgust of the woman's intolerance of his presence. "Murdoc Niccals," he muttered scornfully, "2D's mate. Came tah check up on 'im, found 'im like this."

Clarissa seemed taken aback by his name, eyes widening and seeming to see him differently now -not just an intruder- tho whether the change was good or bad.. "Well, Mistah Niccals, ah am 'appy to info'm yew the'e is nufing yew can do 'ere. Feel free to run along." She said, making her mind up that it most certaintly /wasn't/ a good thing. "Stua't obviously 'as little value to yew. 'e 'as been loik dis fo' yea's and dis is the fi'st time you've bothahed to check on 'im." Clary dusted off her pants and looked back to 2D, who was cowering away from the both of them as though his life were on the line if he spoke.

"I ain't goin' no where." Murdoc growled, defensive. "I been ou' in the middle of nowhere, only _jus'_ made it _back_. Firs' wind I evah go' 'e was sick, and I ain't _leavin'_."

2D burrowed deep against his knees, tears still falling quickly down his cheeks. He wanted to tell Clary to leave -Murdoc being angry was scary, but with him like this, it was absolutely terrifying- but didn't have the breath. He felt his stomach churning, one hand clasping over his mouth as he pushed right through the two of them and hurried staggering down the hall to the bathroom.

Murdoc's anger dissipated, only regret and guilt lingering. He moved as if to follow 2D, to help him.

Clary hung her head, thin hands scrubbing furiously at his eyes. She knew Stuart only actually threw up when things were particularly bad- sickness or anxiety-wise. Hearing the rustle of Murdoc starting after him, she decided to stay put.

Stuart had kicked the door shut behind him, crawling to the toilet with his tiny body wracked with sobs and wretches. He had managed to hold down the bits of cracker for a while, at least, he told himself..

Murdoc worriedly opened the door, only peeking through the crack. "Stu...?" he asked softly, feeling helpless. Maybe he _should_ leave...

Stuart was clinging to the rim of the toilet, his sobs no longer muted. He was confused by his own desires- he wanted Murdoc to just leave already, but he also wished his mate to be there with him. He managed out the bassist's name between sobs, releasing the toilet and curling in a pained ball on the cold tile flooring.

Murdoc rushed to 2D's side, scooping him up in his arms and holding him. It was all new to Murdoc. He petted 2D's hair back, trying to sooth him from something beyond his control/

2D seemed for a moment like he was going to struggle -Murdoc's arms around him only bought back painful, abuse-filled memories- but he hadn't the energy and instead went limp against him. He bawled against Murdoc's chest, finding a surprising amount of comfort there, though the pain was still numbingly excruciating.

Murdoc whimpered softly, holding 2D close. He couldn't lose 2D, not now, not ever...

Clarissa appeared at the door, looking more haggled and distressed than before. She'd run a hand through her hair, freeing some of it from the tight pin-up and letting it stray down into her face. "Stua't," she addressed him softly, "ah 'ave yewr pain medication, love." She carefully kneeled down beside Murdoc, hardly able to pull 2D away from his chest long enough to give him a few strong dosages of meds. Her eyes flickered to Murdoc throughout, as though assessing him, and the cold defensiveness she had over Stuart only seemed to strengthen. Murdoc didn't know what this whole thing was over -him breaking 2D's heart utterly and completely- and the last thing she wanted was for the singer to fall for him all over again. He wouldn't survive another, obviously worse, bout with this.

Murdoc sighed, anger toward the woman relenting only for the fact that she was helping to ease his pain.

2D wrenching sobs gradually lessened into a more fitful, trembling sort of sedated disposition. He couldn't keep still, trembling all over, though the pain had been dulled to something more bearable. Well, bearable to him. To others it would have been tearing them apart, but after years of living with it.. His glossy eyes slowly trailed up to Clary, a silent thanks.

Murdoc gently pulled 2D back against his chest, curling around him to keep him safe.

The singer curled tightly against him, eyes half-lidded and heavily faded with the setting in of the drugs. His old pain killers had put him into a happy sort of high, but these.. the only bit of joy they could provide was the temporary dulling of his pain. Otherwise they left him hallow, cold and a husk. Clary watched Murdoc's protective motion with growing anxiety, hoping the pills would keep Stu's hopes for a future buried.

Remaining silent, Murdoc stood with 2D in his arms and carried him back to the couch, setting him down incredibly gently for a man so violent and harsh.

2D lay his head against the arm of the couch, hardly taking up half the cushion. He'd truly lost a lot of weight, even for someone of his petite size around, and now with that glazed look, he looked dead.

Murdoc sat beside the singer, just watching him before turning back to the woman. "Whut are yew doin' 'ere? Who are yew?"

2D snuffed quietly, stifling a cough. Clary looked from Stuart to Murdoc, lips pursed. "Ah love 'n take ca'e of Stu." She said simply. She loved him dearly, like a son, almost, her own having been lost long ago.

Murdoc's face soured, suddenly seeing his place. He petted 2D's hair back once again, only pity in his eyes for the boy and whatever ailed him. "I'll jus' go, then," he muttered, savoring the touch only a second longer before heading to the door.

2D's eyes, however glossy, didn't hesitate to turn on Murdoc. His stomach bottomed out worse than the first time -luckily empty this go-round- as he saaw his mate leaving him yet again. He pressed back into the arm of the couch, his tears hidden as they seeped into the fabric. He didn't have the heart to say anything, just like last time..

A heavy stone of sadness dropped into the bassist's stomach. He'd so hoped to take 2D away with him, to leave this place and everyone in it, to just float on the open ocean with him and the band...the family... As he stepped outside, a glance told him that someone had stolen his gas can, which he'd sat by the door when he came in. He took once last look at 2D behind him, the door still open.

2D was sobbing against the arm of the couch, too weak to protest Murdoc's leaving if he wanted to- though he did have the energy to push Clary away when she tried to console him. This was exactly what she'd been afraid of.. She wouldn't dare let herself look back to Murdoc, she wouldn't fall into it too, and it took everything in her not to well up herself. "Stu, dea'.." she murmured.

"Shuddup!" He sobbed against the arm of the couch. "Juss shuddup awready! Yew d-dun' even fockin' _know_ me! Juss shuddup!" His words were all heavily muffled and thick with sobbing, but the bite in his voice had her stumbling backward and to her feet.

Confused, Murdoc drew back into the room very slowly. Was this woman not what he'd thought she'd been? He stood at the arm of the couch, near 2D's feet, an odd mix of pity and confusion in his eyes as he looked over the singer. "...Stu...?"

Clary had retreated to a chair at the far end of the room, looking quite shaken and trying to look busy sorting out the various medications in her bag. 2D had hardly the strength to move his arms away from his head and glance back to Murdoc with a look of hurt, relief and a tinge of embarrassment. He'd thought the bassist was gone.. Though the re-damaging in his heart had already been done.

Murdoc reached out and touched the top of the singer's foot, dragging his nails over the silken skin very gently, just trying to keep himself occupied. "...I feel like I'm missin' somethin', D." He said carefully. "Mind explainin'?"

The singer shrunk back slightly with the contact, though didn't pull his foot away. He looked donw at his hands, swallowing sobs as he glanced up to Clary from across the room. She was studiously ignoring their conversation, busy texting someone. "U-uhm.." He whimpered, coughing into the nook of his arm. Stu hadn't the slightest as to what to explain, what to leave out and just how to word it.

"Do yew..." Murdoc broke off, feeling a fool to even ask, but continuing on in a low voice. "Do yew even wan' me tah stay?"

2D nodded hastily, though the movement in his head forced a dizzying case of motion sickness and he just as hastily hid his face in his arms. Clarissa let out a quiet sigh, setting her phone aside and rubbing a hand over her face- obviously highly stressed by the situation.

Murdoc cast her a glance, then turned back to 2D and sat beside his feet. "A'righ', then."

2D drew up further into himself, clearing up the area between himself and Murdoc. He took deep gulps of air, trying to steady himself as the pills wore away and released the rest of his flooding emotions. He could feel at least a small part of him starting to recover from his mate's presence.

Murdoc watched 2D carefully, reaching out for him.

Stuart hesitantly shifted so he was against Murdoc, afraid he'd be yelled at or beaten like he always had been in the past for such a show of affection. None surpassed the time he'd let his love for Murdoc slip into an interview- the interviewer hadn't taken it for anything beyond brotherly love, considering it was 2D saying it, though Murdoc.. He shuddered against the older, coughing violently against his own arm.

Murdoc bit his lip, wrapping his arm around 2D and holding him a bit awkwardly, but supportive all the same. He looked up at the woman, wondering if she would tell him exactly what was wrong.

Clarissa looked up, catching his gaze and shaking her head- releasing a few more strands of hair. She pushed it away, continuing to shake her head. This was no topic for her to be discussing. Stuart clung to Murdoc's side, crying against him as he tried to catch his breath. Blood spotted his lips and arm.

Murdoc looked fearfully at the tiny droplets, wiping them away slowly. A flicker of fear rose heavy in his chest. "Whut's wrong wit' yew, luv?" he asked softly.

Stuart didn't answer -he couldn't- and instead buried himself farther into Murdoc's side. His health was at the lowest of lows and he couldn't even _begin_ to list off all the things wrong with him. He'd end up being mocked anyway, his subconscious assured him.

Murdoc's worry stopped up his throat, bringing him very close to crying. "D..." he pleaded, wanting the singer to say something, _anything_, to let him know 2D still needed him around.

2D made a weak motion toward Clary, who sighed and fixed her glasses. She retrieved a paper from her bag, bringing it over to Murdoc. It was a list of his prescriptions- more importantly, what they were treating. Violent migraines, stress, depression, insomnia, fatigue, stomach bleeding, malnutrition- the list continued on in horrible details of what seemed to be every little thing that _could_ be wrong..

Murdoc read through the list, the lump in his throat growing until he felt he might be sick. To think he'd left 2D too his own devices...just for this...

It had started out as depression, that escalating the ferocity of his migraines, which weighed stress down on him, creating his insomnia issues and a nicely sized ulcer in his stomach- which lead to not eating and the malnutrition. It was a surprise he was alive at all, all things considered. Clary was shaking her head sadly again, sighing. "I don't know 'ow 'e stands it all.." She murmured.

Murdoc dipped his head to be closer to 2D's face, murmuring sweet things about getting him well again that the bassist could barely remember in the back of his mind, motherly words from a woman he'd never known.

2D clutched tighter at Murdoc's shirt, the kind words consoling and frightening him. He wasn't used to be spoken to kindly -certainly NOT by Murdoc- and though it helped, it did almost as much damage. Three steps forward, two steps back. Despite it all, Stuart managed to calm his sobbing enough to come within range of audible speech. "U-uh-huh.."

"I'll ge' yew bettah, don't yew worry," Murdoc murmured, petting 2D's hair. Noodle missing, Russel gone...2D was _his_ responsibility now.

2D didn't believe it for a second, but he found himself numbly nodding. He had been 'trained', in a word, to agree with anything and everything the bassist said. It was completely subconscious now. "Y-yeah.." He whimpered, resting his forehead -warmer than it should be- against Murdoc's shoulder.

Murdoc looked up at the woman, almost pleading. "Come back and check up on 'im, yeh?"

"Ah've been 'is 'ome nu'se fo' yea's, Mistah Niccals," she replied solemnly, nodding. 2D didn't look up as Clary turned to gather her things, not caring in the least if she left. Usually he'd beg and plead for her to stay so he wouldn't have to be alone -the thought of dying alone terrified him from a young age- but now that he had Murdoc back.. he was dandy with her leaving. This came as a relief and a blow to the nurse, who took a moment to pin her hair up again before walking to the door.

Murdoc looked back down at 2D, then the list in his hand. "Is there anythin' yer gonna need?" he asked softly, "Or d'yew go' somethin' else in mind?"

"Uhm," Clary piped up from the door, pausing with her hand on the doorknob. "I'll be back tomorrow when he needs to take his medications. Until then, he should be fine. He can't eat, though, so be careful about that." She added almost as an afterthought.

Murdoc nodded in thanks, casting her a last smile.

Clary didn't return it as she slipped from the apartment, glad to be away from the thick anxiety Murdoc pressed down on her. She'd heard heartfelt tales of him from Stuart from day one, always ending in hatred, abuse and pain unimaginable.. she hoped this wouldn't be another.

2D shifted a bit, his body supporting him a bit more as he kept himself against Murdoc's side. He didn't look at either of them, not even bidding Clary a goodbye glance, as he tried to focus on keeping his illness at bay. Murdoc was here. He didn't have to be sick anymore..

"Hey," Murdoc murmured softly, trying to be as gentle as possible in both word and action.

"W-wot..?" 2D whimpered, leaning his head back to look up to Murdoc. He looked horrible, especially from this close; all the sleepless nights and malnutrition having wreaked havoc on his features- though that paled beside the emotional damage he could no longer hide from his eyes.

Murdoc touched the boy's cheek with a look of pity. "Le's ge' some sleep, yeh?" he murmured, thinking that to be best for the singer.

"O-okay..." 2D whimpered, sending a reluctant look to his bedroom. He hadn't been in there in over two weeks, having been stuck on the couch for most of that time, and he was sure it was an abandoned disaster. It _was_ Murdoc, however, and he wasn't sure the bassist would even notice.

Murdoc carefully lifted 2D and carried him towards the bedroom, trying not to jostle him too much as he opened the door. The room was a mess, no doubt, but Murdoc had worse in the Winnie before. With practiced ease, Murdoc stepped around the things and made his way to the bed, lying 2D down upon it after kicking a few clothes.

2D whimpered softly as Murdoc set him down, his arms hesitant to release the older. He did, however, slumping back on the foreign yet familiar bed. The nightstand beside it was cluttered with various things, another photo of himself and Murdoc back when they were happy peeking out of the mix. He had quite a few of the gentle reminders about..

Murdoc turned back, wondering if he should leave 2D to sleep. Then again, if something happened, Murdoc would want to be nearby... He rounded to the other side of the bed and lied down gently beside the singer, face to face, barely a foot away from each other.

2D cracked a very small, shaky smile -the first time he'd smiled in.. a _very_ long time- and tugged the blankets up over his trembling frame. He hadn't felt any sort of comfort from Clary no matter what she did, but simply having Murdoc nearby.. it was miraculous, in a word.

Grinning at the sight of 2D's happiness, Murdoc brushed a thumb over 2D's lips, finding them to be very warm from his illness. "Ge' some res'...I'll be righ' 'ere."

2D felt his sloppy pulse quicken a bit at the gentle contact, though didn't have the energy left to reply. He nodded off, his pain releasing him for the first time in years.

Murdoc smiled softly, his thumb drifting aside as the bassist leaned in to gently touch 2D's lips to his. It was strange, but a thrill ran through him and down his body, slowing and fading as it reached the end, leaving him slightly breathless and confused. It had felt right in the end, and that's what counted, Murdoc assured himself as he wormed his way closer, a few inches away now, and took 2D's hands in his.

2D's slight smile grew a bit more as he weakly intertwined his fingers with Murdoc's. "Y-y'know.." He murmured, feeling colder than before. "Yewr m-mah bes' m-mate.. yeh?"

"Of course, D," Murdoc murmured, his lips still tingling slightly. "Yer mine too...my _only_ mate, really..."

The singer let out a shaky sigh, moving a bit closer so their foreheads brushed. He could feel it, in the pit of his stomach, he knew.. "F-fanks.." He murmured in reply, onyx eyes dim and nearly closed as he gazed down at their intertwined hands.

"Anytime, Stuart," Murdoc whispered, "Yew'll always have me." His thumbs brushed back and forth over 2D's knuckles as he smiled warmly at the singer, feeling a kind of peace at last.

Stuart took the comment to heart, troubled eyes finally reaching a sort of calm. Murdoc really didn't hate him.. He snuffed softly, closing his eyes and giving Murdoc's warm hand a faint squeeze. This moment meant the world to him..

Murdoc smiled and leaned in to kiss 2D's forehead, then his lips once more. "Ge' some rest, Stuart," he whispered, "I'm righ' 'ere..."

2D couldn't deny a soft tear, nodding a bit. "N-n-ight-night, Mudsy.." He breathed, the nickname entrusted with a multitude of heartfelt feelings. Stuart drifted into a light sleepy haze, knowing what awaited him.

Murdoc, very close to sleep himself, replied softly. "G'Nigh', Stuart..." His mismatched eyes shut slowly, a glimmer of happiness lingering bright in the red iris as it peeked back open a second later, watching 2D only a moment before sleep came at its fullest.

Stuart, his greatest fears consoled, could feel his ragged breathing easing and his uneven pulse gradually sifting away. He loved Murdoc more than anything in the world and being able to share just one moment with him was enough.. His soft smile and tear were instilled in his features, even as he slipped away.

Night passed without fail. Dawn came, and with it, morning. Murdoc was slow to wake, heavy with sleep, but instantly knowing something was wrong. 2D's hands felt cold, colder than they should have been. "Stuart?" he murmured, his thumb rubbing the chilled knuckles of 2D's hands.

2D remained unresponsive, azure hair hiding his closed, bruised eyes. His lips parted ever-so-slightly, still graced with the small smile. He'd always been afraid of dying alone...

"Stuart," he murmured, shaking 2D's hands softly, "wake up." Growing panicked, Murdoc sat up and placed a hand on 2D's face, feeling the same eerie cold. "STUART!" he snapped, anger taking place of his worry, hoping to frighten 2D out of his "sleep", but when it didn't work, Murdoc's true worry over took him and hot tears began to pour down his cheeks. "St-Stuart," he whined between sobs, "W-wake _up_!" He leaned over, kissing 2D's face over and over, sobbing between each kiss.

Despite Murdoc's heart-wrenching display, nothing could or would rouse the boy. Likewise, nothing would ever be able to take that single smile and tear- which seemed to have left a scar down his cheek as it hadn't dried, even over the sleeping hours.

Finally admitting defeat, Murdoc sat back on his feet and cried, loud wracking sobs consuming him. After all this time...after all this way... Long past morning and well into the afternoon, Murdoc sat in numbness and tried to think of what he should do. He slid stiffly from the bed, having been in the same position so long, and walked around to 2D's side of the bed, kissing his cheek softly. "I'm gonna go ge' Clary's numbah, a'righ'?" he murmured hoarsely, barely a whisper. Without response, Murdoc left the room and searched out the note the nurse had left him.

Clary picked up her cellphone as she got a call, seeing Stuart's number and immediately answering it. "'ello? Stua't, dea', a'e yew awroight?" She asked quickly, coming to a halt at a stoplight. She had actually been on her way to the lad's apartment, bringing with her his numerous scripts.

"I ain't Stu," Murdoc replied numbly, rubbing his burning eyes with his palm. "'E's dead...died in 'is sleep."

Clary went deathly silent, a blaring of a horn behind her snapping her into the present. Her foot slammed the gas, jerking the car viciously before she regained control. "D-dead?" She asked, sounding as though her breath had been knocked out of her. There was the slightest tinge of suspicion.

"I was sleepin' as well, don't yew even _think_ I did anythin'," he warned, too tired to even argue properly. "Bu' 'e's dead all the...same..." The tears threatened to come back, quickly snuffed out by his hand.

Clarissa choked up as she sped down the streets towards Stuart's apartment. "A-ah'll be right the'e," she coughed, hiding a sob as she slapped her phone shut. Judging by Murdoc's voice, Stuart hadn't..

Murdoc shut 2D's phone slowly, wandering on foreign legs back to the bedroom and crawling back into bed beside the corpse of his best mate. He thought a moment, trying to imagine what could have happened had 2D lived. What would have become of their kiss? Their conversations? Would 2D have joined Murdoc at the brand new studio? Would he have gone willingly?

Clarissa was standing in the doorway not five minutes later, cheeks tear-stained and looking a complete mess. She hurried to the bedside, choking down a sob as she looked from the still Stuart to Murdoc in a mixture of pity, sorrow and importance. She had a message to deliver..

Murdoc, helpless, gave her a begging glance before looking back at 2D, reaching out slowly and taking his limp hands just as he had during the night.

Clary wiped at her tears, sitting down carefully on the edge of the bed. She shakily drew in a breath, exhaling slowly. "Mu'doc.." Clarissa said quietly, folding her quivering hands in her lap.

"Yes?" he replied, almost pleasantly as he watched 2D's still form and rubbed the singer's knuckles absentmindedly.

"Did.. did 'e tell yew..?" She asked quietly, placing a slender hand on Stuart's shoulder and recoiling at the abrupt iciness.

Murdoc paused, having to think. "He really didn't say much," Murdoc said softly, "Why?"

She took a deep breath, brushing her hand over his shoulder again before standing up. "Ah 'ave something to tell yew.. fo' 'im," Clary motioned toward the boy, turning briskly and making her way into the living room.

Murdoc watched her go, only slightly raising his head to follow her with his eyes before flopping back down on the pillow, watching 2D. He vaguely wondered what kind of disintegration his body was going through right now...

Clary had to swallow her tears as she gathered up a number of 2D's brightly colored notebooks, many decorated with rainbow stickers and the like. They were from Kong, though only scribbled in here, in Beirut. She brought them into the room, setting them down on the bed. "These.. there were so many things he.." She hiccupped, placing a hand over her mouth. "He loved you so much.. he couldn't stand it-" she broke off, a sob crawling out of her mouth.

Murdoc's curiosity got the better of him, making his face fall from numbness to sorrow again as he reached out for one of the books. Flipping it open, reading a few of the lines...Murdoc's face twisted up in agony again, pressing their joined hands to his lips, trembling with suppressed sobs. After a few beats, once the worst of it had past, Murdoc admitted his feelings. "I kissed 'im, yew know? Kissed 'im before 'e died...told 'im I'd always be there..."

Clarissa covered her face with her hands, crying against them. "Yew we'e all 'e evah tolked about.. all 'e evah thought about..." She sobbed. The notebooks were absolutely filled with lines of loving poetry, though it all had a sickening, painful twist. A number of the pages were splashed with tears- others with blood.

Murdoc bit his own lip hard, well past the point of drawing blood. It dripped thickly onto the sheets and mixed with renewed tears falling from his eyes. "I luv yew," he whispered to 2D's deaf ears, "I luv yew, I luv yew, I luv yew so much..."

Clary lost all of her composure, sobbing unhindered against her long sleeves. She turned, pulling one out from the very bottom. It was missing almost all of the pages, remnants of them torn from the notebook. The pages that were in it seemed like heart-felt letters- all addressed to Murdoc. The dates were stretched over the years, showing that Stuart had really put a lot of time into them. Pledges of his love, ways he could say it, all the things Murdoc meant to him.. the final page was scribbled with pleads and begs for mercy that he could use lest Murdoc attack him.

Murdoc's sobs reached their peak before tapering off into whimpers and pleads, the energy being drained from him as he poured his heart out to this empty shell of a wonderful man.

As the sun twisted from behind a cloud and a dim beam of light settled on 2D's face, Murdoc just couldn't take it. He drew away from the bed, from the man, taking the notebooks and laying them in his place beside 2D. He panted softly, casting Clary a last glance before bolting from the apartment, not looking back to see if she followed. Running down the block to where he'd parked Stylo, the cold breeze rushing past like the cars of people, living life as if the greatest thing in Murdoc's life had not just vanished in the night. Throwing himself in the driver's seat and taking off, the bassist couldn't think, couldn't feel, just drive...

They looked for him. For weeks and months and years, they looked. He never went to 2D's funeral. He never went looking for anyone. Rumor had it Noodle had disappeared as he himself had. Others said Russel had drowned. Murdoc mourned for each of them, although he desperately hoped they were just rumors. He, on the other hand, was lost to the world, alive but unknown. Many believed him to be dead as well, either deep in the drink or just lying in a ditch on the side of a road somewhere. In reality, he'd spent the next two and a half years on Plastic Beach, constantly drinking himself into a stupor and wallowing in sorrow. Every night, he would look up at the skies and imagine 2D to be just over the stars.

Just over the stars. Murdoc often wondered how to get there, wanting to see 2D and Noodle and Russel again, maybe even Del. Just to see his friends again...so he did. Eventually, as time wore on and he slipped ever-further into madness, Murdoc pulled the trigger on his own pathetic life one night as he watched the stars pass him by overhead.

Just over the stars. Because happiness, as we know, is a warm gun.

The End.


End file.
